Dear Reader,

Have you ever reacted to a situation in a way that surprised you?

Maybe you shut down when you wanted to speak.

Or felt overwhelmed by emotions that seemed out of proportion.

That’s because your body remembers—long before your mind can make sense of it.

🔹 Trauma research by Bessel van der Kolk (2014) shows that the nervous system stores past experiences as patterns of safety or threat.

If you grew up in unpredictability, criticism, or emotional disconnection, your body may default to:

• Hypervigilance (always on guard, scanning for danger)

• Shutdown (numbing out, feeling disconnected)

• People-pleasing (fawning to stay safe)

I want to tell you about Maya.

Maya came to me feeling trapped in a pattern she couldn’t break. She was highly successful on paper—a job she worked hard for, relationships that seemed fine, a structured life.

But every time she needed to express her feelings, something inside her locked up.

It didn’t matter if it was at work, with friends, or with her partner. She would hesitate, swallow her words, and later, berate herself for staying silent.

“I just freeze,” she told me. “I want to speak, but it’s like my body won’t let me.”

She thought something was wrong with her. That she was weak.

But the truth was, her body was protecting her the only way it knew how.

See, Maya grew up in a home where emotions weren’t safe.

As a child, when she cried, she was told she was ‘too sensitive.’

When she got angry, she was met with cold withdrawal.

When she needed comfort, she learned not to ask.

Her nervous system adapted.

Silence became safer than expression.

Numbing became safer than feeling.

Pleasing became safer than being authentic.

And now, even in her adult life—where she was safe—her body hadn’t yet learned that.

Healing isn’t about fixing yourself—it’s about reconnecting with safety inside.

One day, after weeks of work, something shifted.

During one of our sessions, Maya placed her hand on her chest.

She took a slow breath.

And for the first time, instead of fighting the freeze, she did something different.

She sighed. A long, deep, exhale.

Her shoulders dropped.

Her body softened.

And as tears welled in her eyes, she whispered:

“I think… I’m safe.”

It was just a moment. But it was the beginning of everything.

Because your nervous system can learn safety again—but not through force.

It needs small, consistent signals that tell it:

🌀 “I am safe. I am home in my body.”

Try this today:

1. Place your hand on your chest and take a deep breath.
2. Gently hum or exhale with a sigh (this stimulates the vagus nerve).
3. Say to yourself: “I am safe. I am home in my body.”

Your body doesn’t heal through thoughts alone—it heals through experience.

And just like Maya, you can take the first step today.

With care,

Dr. Gabriel Barsawme, LSW