Dear friend,
Once upon a time, we were carried—skin to skin, heart to heart—long before we could speak or stand.
Back then, survival wasn’t something we achieved alone. It was something we were held into.
But somewhere along the way, the story changed.
“Be independent.”
“Do it yourself.”
“You don’t need anyone.”
It’s a modern myth—one that’s left many of us quietly aching, wondering why we feel so anxious, disconnected, or stuck in our healing.
But your body knows the truth.
And your nervous system never forgot.
Neuroscientist Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory reveals something ancient and undeniable: we are wired for connection.
Your ventral vagus nerve—the part of your nervous system responsible for calm, safety, and emotional regulation—is activated not by self-sufficiency, but by presence.
Eye contact.
A gentle voice.
A warm touch.
A look that says, “I see you, and you’re safe with me.”
Even now, as adults, your health—emotional, physical, even spiritual—is shaped by your relationships.
This is what Carl Rogers called unconditional positive regard: the deep, healing experience of being fully seen and accepted without needing to perform, prove, or perfect anything.
So if healing feels hard on your own… it’s not because you’re doing it wrong.
It’s because you’re doing it alone.
And you were never meant to.
A Practice for the Week: Returning to Safety
Each day this week, create one small moment of connection.
It doesn’t need to be dramatic.
It just needs to whisper to your nervous system: You are not alone.
Try one of these:
✔ Linger in eye contact with someone you trust.
✔ Send a kind message—no agenda, just appreciation.
✔ Ask someone how they’re really doing. Then listen.
✔ Give yourself warmth: a weighted blanket, a hand on your heart, or a long exhale in someone’s arms.
You are not a problem to be fixed.
You are a being wired for love.
And love lives in relationship.
Your inner light grows stronger—more radiant—when reflected in the heart of another.
With care,
Dr. Gabriel Barsawme, LSW
P.S. If this message stirred something in you—if you’re longing to reconnect with your true self, in the presence of others walking the same path—I’d love to invite you to join the waitlist for The Light Within.
It’s a course for those who are ready to heal in a deeper way—through connection, not isolation.
You can read more here.