What is transgenerational trauma?
My grandfather, Joseph, was born in the Southeast of Turkey (then Ottoman Empire) in 1912. He was the youngest of seven siblings.
In 1914, under the guise of World War I, the Ottoman Empire decided to "cleanse" and "relocate" minority groups in several regions in Anatolia. My grandfather and his family lived in a village in the region of Mardin.
The decision to cleanse led to the slaughtering of most of my grandfather's family and the rest of the village. They were brutally killed and tortured. The remaining survivors were forced to relocate.
My grandfather's family was "lucky." Except for his dad and oldest brother, the rest survived.
Later generations have named the suffering the Armenian Genocide. But the truth is, more than just Armenians suffered a genocide. Minority groups such as Arameans, Greeks, and Yezidis were affected. For the Arameans, more than half of the entire population was killed.
I sometimes think about the event itself and the stories about the genocide that were transmitted.
Here's the truth: They were silenced.
Stories were told under the protection of the night.
Stories were told when they knew nobody was listening.
Stories were told with fear that retribution would come.
They were afraid, terrified.
They well remembered the gutting of pregnant women and the thrusting of their unborn babies.
They well remembered the kidnapping of children to assimilate them into new tribes.
They remembered what would happen if they dared stand against or speak openly about their suffering.
They were exhorted to forget and move on.
To this day, the Genocide has not been publicly recognized by all nations in the world.
The Genocide happened 110 years ago. The minority groups started publicly talking about the events after leaving Turkey in the 1960s and 1970s. Research came much later.
Now, why do I tell this story?
Because most human beings on this planet have experienced, in one generation or the other, major trauma that is transmitted over generations.
Transgenerational trauma is real, and it has an impact on our very epigenetic, that is, the expression of our genetics.
Even if you have not suffered trauma and your parents or grandparents did, it is very likely that their responses to the traumatic event/s have an impact on you today.
This is how transgenerational trauma is transferred
I spent a good academic year meeting with researchers from Europe, Canada, and the US, talking about transgenerational trauma and how one could study its impact and effects. More importantly, how one could heal. The research we gathered was astounding, and the findings we made were significant.
Transgenerational trauma is complex and is transferred in the following ways:
- Epigenetic Changes: Epigenetics is a fairly new field of study with about 20 years on its neck. It deals with DNA expression and how certain genes are activated due to environmental stressors. Epigenetics has found that these expressions can be transmitted from parents to children.
- Parenting Behaviors: Your parents may transfer, unintentionally, trauma to you through their behavioral patterns. This can include overprotectiveness, emotional detachment, or the inability to provide a secure attachment. Children may internalize their parents' unresolved trauma.
- Family Dynamics: Family systems play a crucial role in the transmission of trauma. Patterns of communication, emotional expression, and coping strategies within the family can perpetuate the effects of trauma across generations. For example, a family culture of silence or avoidance regarding traumatic experiences may hinder the processing and healing of trauma. Imagine having been silent about the genocide my grandfather survived.
Why does this matter?
Blaming parents or past experiences for what you are going through in life is useless. Blaming involves investing a lot of energy into something that will not make any difference. A more useful approach is to take responsibility for healing.
If you have children, then working on your shit is crucial.
If you are simply living your life and feel disconnected, working on your shit is crucial.
If you are a business owner and are struggling in one way or another, working on your shit is crucial.
You may thrive in life on a superficial level and still feel that something is off, that you feel disengaged, discontent, and constricted.
You may read this and think about your family upbringing and think that you had a good enough upbringing and, therefore, this is not for you.
You may read this and think: "I had a good childhood, yet I feel off. What's wrong with me."
It may very well not be your struggle that you're struggling with.
Most people don't seek help unless they come down, crash, boom, bang, and have no other option.
Self-work is done at the right moment when you feel ready. It is not easy and cannot be forced.
Most people I know start their self-work when they reach their mid-thirties or mid-forties. That's when life invites them into depth. This is what happened to me.
Pathway to healing: finding a language
Given what I've described above, it should be no surprise that healing is available but not easy.
Transgenerational trauma is complex and affects everything about our existence. The most elusive part may be that we have no conscious experience. We may be suffering from mental health issues, and our genetic expressions may be affected by it, but we do not know why.
This is hard.
All kinds of healing concerns finding a language to uncover, understand, and describe your experience.
A novel I read a while ago is a great example. It's called Riding The Trail of Tears by Blake Hausman. It's a Native American Fiction novel that revisits the removal of the Cherokee from their lands.
The book matters because it expresses a desire to find a language for an unspeakable experience.
Transgenerational trauma can be unspeakable.
So finding a language, whether it's through therapy or group rituals that revisit, recast, and restore identity and resilience, are all different ways in which transgenerational trauma can be addressed.
Finding a language for imagining and describing traumatic events can be healing, as in Hausman's work.
I've often considered writing a novel with the main character, Resit, my grandfather's dad. He died in the Genocide. Prior to it, he was a mill master and travelled Anatolia to build, restore and maintain water mills. There's not much we know about him. But there is much I can imagine about him. Writing his story will certainly be a way for me to find a language to speak about the unimaginable.
How about you?
If not now, then when?
Imagine this moment in your life as an invitation to live more fully and engage deeply in life. Imagine this moment as an invitation to heal.
You have two choices.
One choice is to choose life.
Another one is to avoid.
The one leads to opening Pandora's box, which may be painful in the short run, but will ultimately lead to freedom. Freedom from emotional, behavioral and thought patterns that restrict you.
The other keeps you stuck on repeat.
This is the moment.
Choose healing.
If you want to book a discovery call with me, here's my calendly link that you can use.
See you next week!
