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Hi friend,

Thank you for opening my letter.

It means a lot to me.

Tuesday was a rough day for me. I was overwhelmed by all the things I needed to get done in a short period of time. The combination of scarcity of time and the amount of work kicked my entire system into a freeze state.

I hold space for others to explore their deepest fears and to show their darkest shadows. Holding space in and of itself can be healing, but it can also be overwhelming. Holding space involves listening attentively, with presence and empathy, to what others say. But it also involves listening to yourself as a space-holder.

For some time, I had neglected to engage in habits that would help me release difficult emotions and activate my parasympathetic nervous system.

I was noticing how my body was constricted, and my inner voice was not being very kind.

When I sat to listen to what was going on inside of me, I noticed sentences such as:

"Who are you kidding, you'll never be good enough."

"You'll never make it."

"You are not lucky."

I also found myself judging others.

I went out for a run before lunch, but this didn't help. Running is a great way to strengthen the HPA axis of the brain, which helps you deal with stress and anxiety. But my HPA-axis is already very robust due to my long-time commitment to running (I've been running on average 3x/week for the past 12 years).

I noticed that my sympathetic nervous system was still active.

I know this by noticing the following patterns:

1. I dissociate, and I can only keep things afloat. I'm surviving and not thriving.
2. My inner voice is judgmental of myself and others, and I berate myself
3. My body is constricted, I can't do closeness, and I tend to withdraw.
4. I am irritable and will lash out easily.

I meditated last night for 15 minutes, but it didn't help me out of the state.

So the morning after, after dropping off my kids at school, I sat outside with the sun in my face and meditated, took deep breaths, and hummed on the out-breath.

The vibration from the humming activated my vagus nerve and kicked my entire system into the sympathetic nervous system. It's crazy how this works.

I felt open again. Relaxed. Constriction was gone, and joy returned to my body.

I realized at least two things from this experience:

1. I have the habit of not completing my uncomfortable emotions. It's almost as if you're falling, and you flex your muscles to brace for the impact. After a while, this builds up unless you learn to release the energy and complete the emotion.
2. I need to release every day, and since I've got the habit of not releasing and completing my emotions, I have to engage in habits that help me do this actively.
3. For me, meditation is certainly the key. It's one tool I use to activate my self-healing tendencies. It's the tool I use to gain self-awareness and activate my parasympathetic nervous system.

What this means for you:

Stress builds up in the body. If this resonates with you, try tracking what you do daily. You may not even be aware of the stressors in your life and the effect they have on you.

These are some of the things you may do daily that build up stress over a long time:

• Scrolling social media
• Not taking breaks
• Not moving
• Shallow breathing
• Working and living in a toxic environment
• Being online all the time

Add to the list.

Stress is not dangerous. It's the build-up that can be detrimental to your health.

Learning to regulate, release, and complete emotions are crucial life skills that will undoubtedly change your life.

I'm excited that we will be teaching this at the Rewire Summit. For those of you who could not join this time, we will be doing this again.

It will be expanded to a longer program. We're already working on it.

Until next time, be well.

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With great love,

Gabe

Ps. New episode is launching this Saturday. Check out the Spotify or YouTube link below to listen. ds.